No parent, teacher, or child wants to hear criticism. While praising children for their accomplishments can help instill self-esteem, praise alone cannot ensure success. An effective educational system must teach children to solve problems, not just accept credit when things go well. Focusing on the positive can lead to shallowness and complacency.

This idea assumes that praise is the only valid form of motivation. If a child learns from failure, he will develop the grit and resilience necessary to overcome obstacles. This attitude can be set in several ways. For example, a child can be told that failure is an opportunity to learn, which is true. Even the greatest inventors and thinkers worked for years on projects that did not succeed. However, when they finally discovered something that worked, they rejoiced. Parents and teachers should encourage children to view failure as a stepping stone to success, not a dead end. Parents should also teach children that feelings can change, as they often do when faced with a new or complex problem. The realization that failure is not the end, but a necessary part of the process, can motivate children to continue. Negative feedback also has significant benefits. Acknowledging a child’s mistake, no matter how small, shows the child that his actions deserve consideration rather than punishment. This attitude will help him understand that he is entitled to make choices and that those choices have effects. As adults, most of us can remember teachers, coaches, or parents offering us criticism rather than praise when we made mistakes. This criticism helped to shape us into the people we are today.

However, praise is not the only form of motivation. Teachers and coaches should use positive reinforcement. For example, students who receive praise for working hard and cooperating with classmates will work harder and cooperate longer. However, this praise must be sincere. For instance, if a student is consistently praised for his good grades but has no consequences for poor grades, he may not respect the praise. In addition, parents should remember that praise is not a guarantee of future behavior.

If parents and teachers ignore children’s mistakes, they will tend to develop an attitude of complacency. This attitude can lead to poor decisions and behavior. Children who assume that problems will not arise or that mistakes will not hurt them may be less willing to put in the necessary effort to succeed. For example, a child praised for doing poorly on a test may think that it is all right to slack off when repeated. Parents and teachers should discuss concerns with children and be held accountable for their actions to combat this attitude. For example, if the teacher praises a child for completing an assignment, the teacher should require the child to show his work. If a child refuses to cooperate, the teacher should discuss the issue with the child, and the teacher should then offer the child another chance to collaborate.

Teachers and parents should praise children for their accomplishments and encourage them to solve problems, but they must also offer realistic feedback. They are ignoring children when they make mistakes can lead to dire consequences for society.